Dating Burnout: How to Deal With a Not-So-Happy End
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Just like everything in the world, online dating has a natural lifecycle. At first you will likely feel encouraged to give digital matchmaking a chance, especially when you realize how easy the process is. After the first rocky introduction, online mingling even becomes a fun activity as you browse through a list of attractive dates in hopes of finding true love. Even if the first matchup doesn’t strike oil, it will further strengthen your determination.
However, enthusiasm can fade away as time passes, making room for bitterness, frustration or desperation. These are the earliest symptoms of dating burnout, an issue that many long-time daters suffer from. But don’t be afraid, the condition isn’t lethal and with a little bit of self-reflection is all it takes to bounce back. Just follow what the love doctor says!
Feeling burned out isn’t something to be ashamed about
Don’t blame yourself for not being as optimistic about online dating as you used to be, because it’s natural that people would become tired of something that they are exposed to on a regular basis. In all honesty, burnout appears more commonly with singles who take matchmaking seriously. If you’ve spent weeks, months or even years visiting an online dating app or have been swiping tirelessly on Tinder without success, then it’s no wonder that you’ve become disillusioned.
Managing a dating profile requires time and energy, not to mention the hassle that comes with verifying your dates to avoid creeps and catfishers. Then there is the mental challenge of handling multiples dates a week as you struggle to remember the preferences of each of your partners. It’s also likely that you’ve subscribed to at least one dating service, so add the monthly fee to the list of grievances as well.
In short, the dating scene is tiring and you aren’t even guaranteed to find success. But giving up is not an option because learning to cope with dating fatigue helps you to stay in the ring longer and therefore improves your odds of finding genuine love.
Be in the ‘right place’
Continuing to date while suffering from burnout is counterproductive because it prevents you from showing your best side. Singles who are put off by the idea of dating but force themselves to go on anyway will usually demonstrate one of the following symptoms: trying too hard; phoning it in; being too blunt and rushing relationship development; making cynical remarks or emitting a general air of negativity.
Getting a solid grasp on your own life and finding emotional stability is the key to defeating burnout. Don’t be afraid to take a little break because you won’t miss out on anything if you’re feeling down. Try to resolve any past issue that might be a thorn in your side, and let the memories of your exes fade from your mind. Finding new hobbies or socializing with friends is also a good idea, since having fun is the cornerstone of building strong self-esteem.
And as a final bit of advice, evaluate whether or not the dating app you’re using caters to your needs, since being in the right place also means the matchmaking platform setting you up with matches. There are sites with a large, international audience that could bolster your chances but at the same time this could make it harder to stand out. Smaller dating apps that focus on a niece audience – such as sites devoted exclusively to African Americans or Asians – create a more intimate atmosphere with people that you share interests with. In the end, choose a dating app that makes matchmaking fun for you.
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